Pilgrimage of Faith

Questionnaire 1: Question 10 - Responses

Do you have any other feelings/thoughts you would like to share concerning sexuality and the Methodist Church?

‘I do not know any gay people within the church, but the one I have met outside the church have been kind, friendly and helpful and I feel the church can only benefit from having such people in its congregations.’

‘I do think we should promote love and loving relationships above the pressures young people are under today to have casual sexual encounters.  Our churches and ourselves should protest more about the way sex is promoted in the media.’

‘If people can’t show their true selves to the Lord at church, we have no hope for a harmonious world.’

‘Having many gay friends, my personal feelings are that it must be awful for people to try to conform to the “norm” or what is expected of them.  The trauma and psychological problems that this can cause not only harms that person but all those in relationships with them.  I believe that if the relationship is filled with love, caring, sharing, trust and respect for each other it should be celebrated and recognised whether it is same sex or not.  In a changing world the church should move a little to recognise this change.  The church should be encouraging the monogamous relationship whether heterosexual or same sex.’

’20 years ago I would say I was no to everything here.  Now after more experience of life and personal weaknesses and those of other people, I am tending to the in between of yes and no.  There is a particular issue of a homosexual working with either boys or girls.  However this same problem could arise with heterosexuals also and therefore is protected by the same “Safe from harm” legislation and Methodist practise.  One is no more dangerous than the other, therefore to channel same sex partnership into an acceptable form could reduce child dangers and not increase it.  I like the term “same-sex partnership”, rather than a “same sex marriage”.  It cannot be a marriage with the intention to give birth and raise children and make a happy home.  A partnership between two people is a good term, as in the end any two people living together and enjoying each others company and supporting each other and their interest is the ideal whether married or blessed.  Ultimately I do not believe that ones sexuality (or any other sin or likes) can separate us from God’s love if each of us is ready to respond to God’s love and friendship.’

‘I just want to put a situation down to whether we should accept gays.  What if when this person was only a baby, not even born and their mother was considering an abortion, but did not because of talking to a vicar and this talk had an effect on her.  So then the baby was born and was able to live and be cared for by God, but as they grew they became curious of their sexuality and became gay, God will still love them.  And do you really think our views and opinions of them should change, they are just human.  And our curiosity, as human beings, does get the better of us, so we should not discriminate against them.’

‘If we as a Christian community can’t accept people for who they are, not what their sexuality is, how can we expect the rest of the world to do the same.  We need to set a good example of Christian love.’

‘We should respect all people coming into the church and welcome all as some people cannot help their sexuality because it is genetically inherited and are born that way.  However I feel there are increasingly some people who are seeking new thrills, stretching the boundaries and this should be cause for concern.’

‘Homosexuality: 1. Both males and females are born with male and female hormones.  2. At puberty, there is a tendency for male to have more female hormones than normal and visa versa – but no more than tendencies.  3. Homosexual males practise “anal” intercourse.  4. The anus has a thin lining and bleeds easily, thus transmitting more easily the aids virus, whereas the vagina has a thick lining.  5. Homosexuals, therefore, more likely to “pass on” aids.  A sin before God.’

‘I do believe we should not be unpleasant or drive anyone away from what is the house of God and he is the final Judge whatever the sin!  Jesus Christ said “cast the first stone – if you dare”.’

‘I have always thought of it [The Methodist Church] as a good family-orientated church with values to emulate.  I need values to emulate!’

‘I think as long as people are Christians it shouldn’t matter whether they are gay or straight.  I do know some very nice gay people, who although they do not attend church, still do some very Christian acts for their elderly neighbours, which I think is better than being just a “Sunday Christian”.’

‘I’m a middle aged married man.  I would not turn away anyone with “same sex” tendencies but I would also not go out of my way to welcome them.’

'Gay/lesbians should be accepted'

‘If people by the structure of the genes are of a gay or lesbian persuasion I can accept that they are still part of our society, but once again I say that they should have no influence where youth is concerned.’

‘If you allow lesbian and gay men to participate in church leadership i.e. Sunday School, you are going against the words of Christ, as it says in the Bible, it is better to have a millstone around one’s neck than lead children into temptation, and I feel that lesbian and gay men would have an influence not fitting in the Methodist Church.’

'Again, from my limited knowledge I feel that most homosexuals would not have chosen to be “different”!  The emotional turmoil and anguish to many must be unthinkable – often to be despised by family and friends.  And so, I ask myself, as a Christian church would we want to add to this?  I am sure there are many who would disagree with the points I have made, but I will not stand in judgement and be part of the exclusion of those whose sexuality is different to mine.’

‘To my mind the practise of homosexuality endangers the physical health of our nation i.e. the spread of aids and disease, and man is more prone to vice rather than virtue and therefore the practise should be discouraged.  Most people are disenchanted and indifferent to the word of God, and the spiritual wealth of our nation has not been enhanced by the Church’s infighting over the gay issue.  It is essential for the church to preach the word of God that we can continue to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord.’

'I can only speak for myself but I would be quite happy if the *** circuit did take on more gay ministers because it is only their preaching and their pastoral care that concerns me.  I think they should have their private lives kept private.’

‘With regard to my answer to question 6 [Experiences of incidents within the Catholic and Church of England regarding child abuse].  The Methodist Church as a whole would be responsible for the actions of anyone individual who behaved badly and abused a child.  I know this also applies to heterosexual clergy, but it seems to be more prevalent with gays.’

‘I think that I have made my thoughts reasonably clear by my answers.  I do know one such couple (not Methodists) who have been together for at least 15 years, they are a loving couple but do not force their sexuality in other people’s faces and are treated as an ordinary couple by all their friends and neighbours – so who are we to point what could be the finger of scorn, at such couples.’

'Nothing in particular, but I do think the church should keep up to date with changing lifestyles.’

‘What these people do in their private lives is no concern of ours, as long as it remains private and not demonstrated in public.’

‘I do wonder what is happening in the world, and I worry about the young people, they must be very confused.’

‘99% are against it, but when in meetings with a “high” person, they are 90% with.  Hypocrites or what?’

‘It’s no business of mine so leave well alone’

'As one of the older generation brought up to believe these practises to be wrong I am becoming increasingly confused, as society now considers it too be OK.  I think that most people consider it to be unnatural, immoral, wrong or something to be hidden and not talked about.  How much of the Bible do we believe as Christians?  (Only the New Testament?)  If we believe all of the Bible then were the laws given in Leviticus 18 given only to the Israelites and not us?  More confusion!’

‘Should the hierarchy in the Methodist Church appoint known homosexuals as ministers/leaders or consider blessing same sex unions, then I will resign my membership immediately.  Further more the church as a whole should be condemning homosexuality along with a number of other things that have crept into our society and which take us away from God.  Finally “sodomy” comes from the name of a city that was destroyed by God because of its unnatural practises.  Need I write more?’

'If the Methodist Church bless and accommodate the unions of gay and lesbians it will create a chasm within the church that will not heal.’

‘I feel sexuality is a personal thing and until an individual is faced with this situation, they may not know how to react.’

‘No – as long as they do not cause any problems, but I cannot see any problems personally.’

‘Love the person, hate the sin’

‘The church is split on this question by age.  ‘For the most part’ the young have no problem the old do!  Give it 20 years and the embracing of lesbian and gay men will be academic.  The Methodist Church was born out of change.  Born out of a man’s views that some things needed to be done differently against existing wisdom.  I think that the Bible is about different people’s belief in what God wants.  It is time was assess what God wants now!  If Abraham can ask “will God not do what is right”, if Jesus can pick corn on the Sabbath.  If John Wesley can ask the questions that will after his death lead to a break away, then we too can ask the questions and find answers that surprise and unite.’

‘My answers to 6 and 9 may seem contradictory.  I believe that if God calls someone to the ministry for him he sees the whole person, not their sexuality.  However I also believe in the solemnity of marriage and that this should be a joining of man and woman, not two people of the same sex.  The church cannot be seen as being discriminatory against certain people; it has to be for all, but on the other it has to make a stand against practise that is against the teaching of the Bible.’

'If these questions had come my way 5/6 years ago I would have felt even more strongly to say no.  If I encounter the same questions in 5/6 years time, most probably I may feel different.  Times, things, and people change.  God does not.’

‘There is such a wide range of opinion on human sexuality, I’m sure it will remain an on-going dialogue for many years.’

‘No, I do not have enough experience of gay men or lesbians to have comments about them.’

‘I feel as committed Christians we should stand up and be counted and not be afraid to speak out against wrong doings.’

‘I know in this day and age people want to accommodate all kinds of people, we are all God’s children but if we study our Bible I do not think it agrees with gay and lesbian people.’

‘I find it all very difficult to comprehend’

‘Should we be the judge, I don’t know’

‘I believe that the way a person treats other people is far more important than their sexuality.’

'Our Methodist Church welcomes all gay men or lesbians’

‘I’d like some please, it could be a bit more life in the church’